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Developing Authentic Confidence

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:26pm | by Jonathan Bender

I have a difficult time with how many people talk about confidence, especially for speakers, and vaguely advocate you find it, yet they don't tell you how. This drives me crazy - and it's so important!

Here's a quick way to know you have confidence:

  • You have no hesitation to speak in front of a group or to go networking, and feel comfortable doing so.
  • You know you can really be you when you speak - not an imitation of anyone else.
  • When you speak, you know what you're saying is important and even life-changing.
  • While speaking, you hold the space for the audience to experience their emotions and thoughts - without the need for their approval.
  • And, you stay totally relaxed and centered - even if you are making an offer for products or services.


Sound like a tall order? That's confidence - about being in your authentic voice and power when with others, naturally and with ease.

Now, the funny thing is that I've had a difficult relationship with the term "confidence" - because it often seems to be applied in a very superficial way, with little real help behind it: "Just be confident - that's the key to success!" But a shallow affirmation doesn't truly do anything. And that doesn't work for me.

Confidence is about finding your own voice, and your center. It's a path of knowing who you are, and standing in your truth. And it's about doing so effortlessly, so that it's not at all forced or projected in a contrived way. In sum, it's a good sum of the techniques I've spent years refining and perfecting.

Many people with these issues (which is, like, 90% or more of us - so you're in good company) feel like they're the only ones with it (so not true) - or like a lost cause. That it's something they just have to either avoid or just grit their teeth and deal with it. You very possibly consider yourself an introvert - which may feel antithetical to being a great speaker (or at least doing it with ease). But being an introvert, in my experience (yes, I still consider myself one, even after 25 years on stage as an actor and speaker), actually means that you simply need to learn how to feel safe when with others and to not give your energy away. To feel solid. To trust yourself, and know your own strength.

In other words - to feel confident. And you can learn this very easily - much easier than you might think, and far more quickly.

Join me for a Free Tele-Class: How to Speak with Confidence and Inspire Your Audience. It's April 17th, and you'll be able to listen to the replay afterward if you can't make it live.

Jonathan Bender has empowered thousands of heart-based entrepreneurs, coaches, holistic practitioners, and healers with a big mission to light up the world and change more lives. A life-long theater director, performer, writer and public speaker, with two graduate degrees in communication and performance, he persisted in searching for the most powerful – and the simplest – techniques that would help both himself and his clients. As a coach for the past 15 years, Jonathan combines cutting-edge performance training (acting, voice, and movement) with speaking technique and personal and spiritual growth. With these, he helps you show up as the True You, organically attracting your dream clients and moving audiences both small and large. The founder of WholeSpeak and Conscious Business Bay Area, he is an in-demand presenter on how to be a powerful speaker and presence in the world.

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