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Don’t Let Stress Ruin Your Marriage

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:26pm | by Guest Contributor

When your marriage is on the rocks, there are many ways to save it; you can try to talk through your problems on your own, take a vacation or couples retreat, and even engage the services of a licensed therapist (or save some time and money with marriage counseling online). 

But a better option is to find ways to reduce stress early on so that it never gets to that point.  As you are probably aware, the stresses of working a job, running a household, and managing a family can quickly come between you and your spouse.  But with a few simple steps, you can seriously reduce any tension that blooms between you and your partner in order to ensure that your relationship strong.  Here are some tips to keep you on track.

1. Adjust your attitude.  The way you approach any given situation can make a huge difference in how it turns out.  For example, if you and your spouse both have a bad day, your interactions could easily devolve into a full-blown argument.  But if you consciously decide that you’re going to let go of anything that happened and just enjoy the time you have with your partner, you’ll create a situation that is more satisfying for both of you.

2. Make love, not war.  When you feel like your life is simply too overwhelming, starting World War III under your roof might not be the best way to dispel the pressure.  But there are other ways to interact with your spouse that will melt away the pent-up stresses of the day and help both of you feel relaxed and happy.  You married your spouse for love, so why not make a little when you’re feeling down?

3. Take a time out.  If things get heated between you and your partner (and not in a good way), call for a time out so that both of you can cool off.  This will help you to think about why and how things went wrong so that you can change your behavior next time.  And it will ensure that you temporarily part ways before either of you say something you’ll truly regret.

4. Plan for fun.  All work and no play will have you and your spouse at each other’s throats before long.  And what are you both working so hard for if not to earn the resources needed to have a good time?  Whether you’re going out for a night of dinner and dancing, jetting off to an exotic island, or staying closer to home with a carpet picnic by candlelight, you need to make a plan to spend some time remembering why you like each other.  It’s easy to neglect your partner, but with a little effort, you can really enjoy the special person in your life.

5. Reduce stress.  There are plenty of ways to release the build-up of stress, but none are better than avoiding it altogether.  So take the time to pinpoint the things in your life that are causing anxiety and then find ways to deal with them or cut them out completely.  By creating a Zen environment and lifestyle, you’ll be better able to approach your partner from a place of love, rather than letting stress spill over into your relationship.

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