How to Stay Focused at Work When You Are Going Through a Divorce
Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:26pm | by Guest Contributor
One of the absolute hardest things for anyone to go through is heartbreak, and if it's by way of a divorce, that makes it just that much more difficult.
One day, you're standing before a minister (or a judge) to pledge your undying love to your spouse and then months or years later, you find yourself in a space where the relationship is coming to an end. The irony is that while your love life has come to a halt, you're still having to accept the fact that life goes on, oftentimes with very little mercy, as you try and adjust to your "new normal". This reality check can be extremely trying while at the office.
Are you looking for ways to stay focused at work while you're going through a divorce? With any luck, these five tips will help to keep you centered as you go through the healing process.
Out of sight, out of mind. OK, this one is not as literal or even possible as it sounds, but if you were someone who had lots of pictures, cards and mementos lying around, then it's probably best that you remove those from your work space. It's pretty impossible for anyone going through a divorce to either not burst into tears or fits of rage if their wedding picture is still on their desk.
Bring happy things to work. When it comes to change and transition, one of the biggest mistakes that people tend to make is to remove things without replacing them with something else. For every couple photo you remove, replace it with a picture of you and your friends or your family members. If you have a favorite color, why not accessorize your office space with it? Need a mental pick me up? How about surrounding yourself with some of your favorite quotes on love, purpose and healing? Simply print them off and post them on your (cubicle's) wall. Even bring in some fresh flowers from time-to-time. Yellow roses symbolize friendship and you definitely need to be a friend to yourself during this season.
Set clear boundaries. There are some people who continue to wear their wedding ring at work just to keep nosy people off of their trail, but you probably see how that blatantly contradicts the first recommendation. Remember that you control your own boundaries at work; therefore, you determine how much or little you want to discuss your personal life. Don't allow anyone to push you beyond where you want to go or where will keep you from being in a professional headspace.
Give yourself "exhale" moments. As our heads are trying to catch up to our hearts, sometimes you may experience random moments of "I can't believe I'm getting a divorce!" It's perfectly normal, but when you feel like you're emotionally hyperventilating, don't suppress it; simply find productive ways to handle it. Count to 10. Listen to your favorite song. Excuse yourself to take a walk to the bathroom (whether you need to go or not). Drink a cup of herbal tea. Find anything that will get your mind off of the negativity and center you back to a state of healthy emotional balance.
Handle as little divorce business as possible. So, you have an Austin divorce attorney and s/he likes to call you during office hours, eh? Nothing will get your mind off of your work quicker than having a property or child support debate while you're at your desk. Thankfully, technology allows for emails and voice mail messages. If it's not an emergency or dire, try to have divorce lawyers and your soon-to-be ex contact you after work because let's face it, if there is an immediate pro to being newly single, it's that you become your top priority, unapologetically so, once again. You are in the position to do whatever is best for you---both at home and at work.