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Talk Money for Relationship Success

Sun, 11/11/2012 - 8:50pm | by Maria Rainier

Money is an important tool to survive in America, and it is one of the top reasons for divorce and/or separation of couples. Money is a support system, and indeed can be seen as a form of trust, respect, and responsibility. It's well known that people are often judged by the way they handle money.

Why Money Is A Big Deal

The importance of having money is vast. It costs money to own and drive a car, live in a house, be clothed, feed yourself, feed the dog, have electricity, etc, etc. Without it, we would be rummaging through garbage or surviving off of the land. And not that that hasn't been done, but in the 21st century, the population has become acquired to certain living advances.

The big deal about money is that it takes time, effort, and responsibility to handle. The average couple is working to pay for the cost of living, and there is slim chance that a working individual would ever want to be taken advantage of. With the effort put in to gain money, it doesn’t take much effort to drain those funds or fail to properly converse important financial situations.

Money Involving Communication and Trust

Another top reasons why couples go their separate ways is because of communication problems, one topic of communication being money. Money is something which can't go undiscussed - at least, not for long. In a more serious relationship - such as marriage or living together - money is unavoidable. Without reasoning, one person may end up spending more or less than the other, and this can cause feelings of resent if the girl or guy dispensing more cash feels taken advantage of. This can also become a problem if neither person keeps track of the bills. Without discussion of when and how bills will get paid, there is no reassurance or security present, and this can create both stress and tension.

If there is enough trust in a relationship, than it's possible for one person to either manage all of the money upon consensus, or to create a joint bank account where you can share, and not pick sides of who spends more. This turns the situation into "our" money instead of "my" money. If there is complete agreement, however, of who spends on what, than joint accounts aren’t necessary. As long as both partners are happy with how the money is spent, and who spends it, and where, than this is all that matters.


You might want to reconsider your relationship if, for whatever reason, your significant other does any of the following involving money:

Uses your money or card constantly without your approval for selfish purposes:

  • Expects you to pay for everything without question
  • Refuses to discuss financing
  • Attempts to control you through money
  • Abuses funds you agreed to save together
  • Hides money from you

Recognize Money Is Worth Talking About

At this time, not only are people separating because of money, but many people are simply staying married unhappily to avoid financial troubles as a result of America’s recession. So while agreeing about money may not be the only solution in the chemistry of love, it no doubt proves itself as something of importance that can not be overlooked, nor neglected to be discussed.

Maria Rainier is a freelance writer and blogger for First in Education where she’s recently written about chemist jobs along with a guide to fitness training jobs. In her spare time, she enjoys yoga, traveling, and working with origami.

Photo by Ed Yourdon

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