9 Steps to Bring you to your Future Self: #3 Positive Feedback Works!
I read an amazing story by Scott Adams, the creator of popular comic Dilbert, who wrote about his experiences with the Dale Carnegie approach to teaching public speaking. In his public speaking class, the teacher's sole teaching methodology is simple: compliment the speaker for whatever he or she does well, and never mention any flaws. Adams says that the theory with focusing on flaws is the underlying, root cause of the problem doesn't get addressed.
By focusing on what the student is doing right, the student understand the positive feedback, which helps them increase their confidence and skill in what they feel comfortable doing. I think about this when doctors come up with a course of treatment for patients, or parents using coping behaviors to deal with their children, or educators understand how to teach individual students. When we treat the symptoms, not the cause, we take time away from truly understanding the real issue. When we focus on positive feedback, we subtly and continuously grow the healthy part -- the part that wants to succeed, the part that strives for success. In our own lives, let's consider one way in which we treat ourselves or others with less then stellar "back talk."
Our mind tends to always come up with a "script," or tape that we play back to ourselves. Let's replace any negative or draining words (couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't won't are good "clue" words for negative feedback) and replace them with positive feedback like yes, great, wonderful, fantastic, good, being, doing, positive, light, happy, and healthy.
Here are some ideas:
- That was a great try.
- I'm really brave for rising to that challenge.
- I'm happy to be doing this now.
- I'm taking good care of my body.
- I am surrounded with people who love me and care for me.
- I am loved.
- I am capable.
- I celebrate my abilities.
Make your own list of positive affirmations. Write them out and repeat them to yourself until they become your new mantra, your new way of giving yourself positive feedback on your actions. Our script, or our self-talk, subconsciously reminds us of who we are. Let's keep our affirmations healthy and let's raise ourselves up through the energy and enthusiasm of our message.
Note to self: I am happy to be growing, learning, and changing today and every day. I am a wonderful person. I am surrounded by wonderful people. I am grateful to be alive and to share myself with the world.
Step 1: Intention Creates Reality
Step 2: Match your Exterior World to your Interior World
Step 3: Positive Feedback Works
Step 4: Change your Perceptions to Change your Outcomes
Step 5: Heal Your Heart
Step 6: Express Gratitude
Step 7: Connect with Others
Step 8: Lifelong Learning Every Day
Step 9: Raise Your Consciousness