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Dealing with Rejection

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:26pm | by monicadear

My main thing about rejection is that it happens to all of us, at some point in our lives, so just deal with it.

Rejection happens. It's not about you, it's not a reflection of you, it's not a bad thing, it's not an insult, it's not a character assasination, it's not even a comment.

It's just a "no". Move on until you find the "yes" -- rejection is a sure sign that a particular situation or person or issue is just not right for you. Define what IS right for you, and seek that out. The more NOs you get, the closer you will find yourself to the YES.

Keep moving forward.

When I was in college, I remember going into someone's room where they had posted all the rejection letters they had received from job interviews: the entire wall was plastered floor to ceiling, full of rejection letters. This person knew they would eventually find a job after graduation, so the wall was just for kicks, but it was humbling to see so many people saying no. I personally had not had the courage to go on that many interviews, so I saw that wall of rejection letters as a wall of someone with the courage to "put themselves out there" over and over again, even if it meant hearing NO multiple times.

While I don't recommend surrounding yourself with anything that plays on negativity, I do recommend you continuously move towards the positives in your life: keep on trying. If something makes you happy, that is usually a great indicator of something that you do naturally well and probably enjoy doing on a regular basis. If that something doesn't harm you or anyone else, it's probably a good thing to explore!

Julie Andrews said "Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th." Get the no 19 times because that yes is right around the corner, and if you gave up after one or two tries, you would never get to that YES. Andrews herself famously rejected being nominated for a Tony Award, so here's someone fully aware of YES and NO in her life.

We say no to other people all the time: it might be unwanted sales calls, unwanted relationships, even our choices in where we go and what we do with our day. I encourage you to go into your space and fully be a part of it: if you feel something's not right for you, say no and mean NO. (Don't say "maybe" --- that's a leaky word, you either are a YES or a NO.) By gaining more clarity into what you stand for, what you are here for, and what you want, you become a greater and more effective force in the world. By getting through lots of Nos, you find yourself moving closer to your Yes. Free up your energy and put things into circulation.

Others will say no to us, but each time we get rejected, we find even more opportunity to get directed towards the right people, the right friends and relationships, the people who will say "YES" to us. Let's move towards proactive acceptance: let's say YES to only the people and opportunities and actions and choices and decisions that help us feel like they're a definite "YES."

And when you get rejected or reject someone else, look at it as an opportunity to clarify your mission in the world. Keep on going.


(photo by lukasbenc)

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