Today’s guest post is by Liz Agnew, coaching superstar.

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How to Network Successfully as an Introvert: Four tips to have fun and get results

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by Elizabeth J. Agnew, MS, PE

For us introverts out there, the idea of networking doesn’t exactly get our blood moving. As networking becomes more and more an integral part of my professional growth, I’m finding that (and I never thought I’d say this) I am actually beginning to enjoy it. And that right there is half of the reason why I’m successful with my networking efforts. In this article I’ll share with you 4 tips for networking success – as an introvert!

First, let’s get something cleared up. Being an introvert does NOT mean that you lack social skills. I’ll repeat: being introverted does not mean that you aren’t a ’social’ being. We all are. It simply means that you get your energy from within – when you need to recharge, you find a way to be alone. Being around people tends to use our energy, rather than charge it up. That’s all.

So all you closet introverts can come out now. If you can embrace your introversion, you’ll see that there are true benefits to being one: you tend to have a better relationship with yourself, appear more grounded and aware, and value deeper connections, to name a few. Embracing your introversion means you’ll be able to leverage it in networking situations. The 4 tips below show you how.

1. Think quality, not quantity
Already, your being an introvert is advantageous. Because we tend to prefer fewer, deeper relationships rather than multiple casual acquaintances, we can bring that desire into a networking situation. No one said the key to networking successfully was to get as many business cards as you could in the least amount of time. If you’re having a great conversation with someone, then stay put!

Let your goal be to make one solid connection for the evening that you’ll want to continue into the future. If it’s a multiple-day event, make your goal 3 – 4 solid connections. Now you can relax – let go of the need to compete for contacts and let fate do its work in deciding the few people you’ll get to truly know.

2. Stay curious
Introverts tend to prefer intimate, deep conversation rather than superficial small talk, which is one we reason we are typically allergic to networking. But how to come up with things to talk about that will get you past the small talk smoke screen? This is why I used to get stuck in the “I don’t feel like going” rut. I got out of it by staying curious.

Human beings are naturally curious creatures, and so once you learn to listen to your inner curiosity, it will be your ally in carrying the conversation. The person you’re chatting with has a story, has richness, has a life with details you can’t begin to imagine! Find out about it. Staying connected to your natural curiosity will help you stay drawn to attending and putting effort into the event.

3. Get real
When you’re doing all the curiosity-searching and questioning, make it juicy! Take risks! Dance next to the line – without crossing it. Let this stranger know that you are a real person – sometimes with family tiffs, speeding tickets, and morning breath! It will lighten the mood, foster trust, and be something to help them remember you.

If you’re someone who finds networking boring, this tells me that you need to move WAY closer to this proverbial line I’m talking about. As long as you remain respectful and avoid offending the person, this is what makes it fun. One way to do this is to tell the truth – tell them how you really felt about the presentation, or how business is really going (without being a whino – keep it polite and intellectual). Tell them about your trials and tribulations, or funny mishaps. Keep it short, then ask about them. You break the ice with candor, and invite them to follow suit.

4. Follow up
This is where your efforts can really pay off, or not. The fact that we tend to make fewer, closer connections makes it easier and more comfortable to follow up. Make your follow-up email or card personal to avoid making this process feel too mechanical. If you followed the tips above, you should have an interesting tidbit to cite that will remind you both of your connection.

When you follow up, take initiative in getting to know the person more. I recommend doing this even if you’re not sure you want to – remember, everyone has a story and theirs is richer than you can imagine. If they’re local, meet for lunch or coffee. If they’re too far, send articles or tidbits when they remind you of the person. Simply sending with a note saying “this made me think of you” is enough.

Bonus tip: arrive physically ready. As introverts, this type of engagement tends to use up our energy, so make sure you have a surplus when you arrive! Be well rested, well fed, and well hydrated. And if you notice you’re missing one of those things, excuse yourself for a 5-minute timeout and take care of yourself so that you can focus your energy on your new friends rather than your growling stomach.

Ultimately, networking doesn’t have to feel or be fake. Stay reminded of the original reason people decided to get together: to make connections. Let your goal be to foster true human connection, and do that the best way
you know how.

- Elizabeth J. Agnew, M.S., P.E.

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Liz specializes in leadership development coaching for engineers and other technically minded professionals. Through the coaching process, personal foundation, life vision, relationships, and behavior patterns are explored to leverage strengths and create new effective ways of being as a leader. Coaching happens 1-on-1 usually twice or three times per month.

See packages and rates:
http://www.vgacoaching.com/coaching_packages.htm

Sign up here for a free coaching consultation:
http://www.vgacoaching.com/coaching_try.htm

Halee Fischer-Wright is a management consultant who recently came out with a book called “Tribal Leadership,” which shows leaders how to assess their organization’s tribal culture on a scale from one to five and then implement specific tools to elevate the organizational stage to the next level. Based on a ten-year study of approximately 24,000 people in more than two dozen corporations, Fischer-Wright and her co-authors Dave Logan and John King discuss practical strategies for success.

We took a moment to review Fischer-Wright’s ideas and how they relate to successful women:

1) Why is it important for women striving for success in their workplace to care about their “tribe?”
A way for women to be successful is to be the leader of their tribe. What remains a secret is that women are naturally better leaders for the tribe than men. Men are driven by ego to be leaders, while women are driven by the needs of the tribe. The tribe is the basic building block of society. Composed of 20-150 people in a naturally occurring group, its the tribe who decides who the leader is.

What determines the success of a group is the culture, not the leader. In fact, its the culture who determines the leader- and often its not the person who carries the senior title. How do women rise to the position of leader within their tribes?

2) What are your top three suggestions on how women in the workplace may form their own “tribes”?
The top three actions are:

* Help others build their careers- especially women.

* Find out the interest and values of the members of the tribes.

* Create triads within the tribe, where you introduce a member of the tribe to another member of the tribe based on values, and create values based relationships.

3) What was your reason for writing the book?
The reason we wrote the book was that we kept reading the latest bestselling leadership books, and despite their glossy promises nothing inside the book was engineered to get you any closer to an understanding of what leadership actually is, and how to lead other people. When my co-authors figured out that it was the culture of an organization that determined its success, that opened the door to the study we did of over 24,000 people. We wrote the book to share our insights.

4) What is the main message you’d like to give to women in business or in leadership at their company, organization, or group?
As women, we are our own worst enemies. We sabotage other women to make ourselves successful. The road to your success is to build the success and career of other people, and especially women. If you build the careers of the people around you, you are a true Tribal Leader.

http://www.triballeadership.net/order_book.php

My takeaway:
We always have an opportunity to learn from other researchers, scientists, and people who study human nature so we gain a better understanding of what works and how we may succeed in our business and personal lives. Fischer-Wright’s book has some concrete examples of how we may use our positions of leadership to help one another and contribute to the success of our organizations and companies. Thanks Halee for your responses!

Halee Fischer-Wright (Youtube video) is a partner of CultureSync who began her career in pediatrics and has since become a leading expert in not only healthcare but also general business and management circles. Prior to joining in 2005—where she heads up projects related to financial services, education, high-technology, healthcare, and entrepreneurial ventures—Halee spent the previous 10 years wearing multiple hats as an owner, manager, and physician at Foothills Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine in Denver, Colorado. She has served on several executive hospital boards and is currently President of a 400-physician group in Denver.

With a focus on balancing quality with profitability, Halee initiates programs that build values-based partnerships in client organizations. She also helps businesses create high-performance teams with energy, purpose, and motivation. She holds an M.D. from the University of Colorado, a Masters of Medical Management from USC, and a Certificate in Executive Leadership Coaching from Georgetown University. Dedicated to her passions in both medicine and business, she continues to serve on faculty at the University of Colorado as an Assistant Clinical Professor, as well as teach executive programs at USC.