For the last two years, I’ve been in a professional coaching relationship with Rob Seidenspinner of Sage Circle Coaching. I wanted to share with you some of the insights that I’ve found through coaching and especially how coaching relates to my personal development in business, family, relationships, and health.

When I first started coaching, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew I wanted to make some drastic changes in my life and I thought it would be good to have some support to make that happen. Coaching typically takes the form of an intake session, which is about an hour in-person, and then weekly 45-minute phone calls, with a particular emphasis on goals, accountability, and an action plan towards achieving your goals.

I was familiar with the motto: “If you do what you’ve been doing, you’ll get what you’ve been getting!” and I had some ideas about what direction I wanted to move my life, but at the same time, when I first started the coaching process, I felt overwhelmed by the plethora of options and I felt a disconnect between my desire and my ability to actually move forward with a specific plan.

I’ve faced obstacles along the way (of course), where I didn’t understand why I was behaving in a certain way and needed some outside observation to help identify issues, or when external circumstances weren’t cooperating with what I wanted at the time, but coaching has also helped me approach these obstacles in a healthy manner.

When you do desire to make changes, I believe that many alternate things in your life also need to change. Self Made Chick has a revelatory article in her blog about “Lies I Told Myself that Kept me Broke and Lazy” link, and some of the things she talks about resonated with me: when one thing is going wrong in your life, typically multiple other things are also going wrong. One event feeds another, which feeds another, and so forth.

So if you’re in the pursuit of something better and something different, I believe this means making major changes to things like your diet, your attire, your exercise habits, your relationships, your household furnishings, or even your hairstyle! One positive change in one facet of your life will then start to feed another positive change in another part of your life, and so forth.

Typically if someone feels “broke” they also feel helpless, unable to participate, or unable to give anything away. Because of this, I always recommend that depressed people do some kind of volunteer work or community service: when I have been down, I’ve always found that “giving back” is a way to break my “woe is me” feeling.

Since I started coaching, I have made some major changes, including business changes (we work less but smarter now, and we have more revenue), family changes (developing closer relationships with my spouse and children), a location change (we moved to Hawai’i, a long term goal of mine), and a more holistic focus on how I want to live my life (instead of focusing on the short-term).

Because of the time and space that coaching has helped clear for me, I’ve had more ability to be introspective and think about ways to participate more fully in my community and in my sphere of influence. This has taken the form of doing more writing (like this blog and other publications), more volunteering (at the elementary school), more pro bono work (through my company), as well as more donations to causes I care about.

This has, of course, improved my self-image and my ability to feel like I am able to be a valuable part of any situation I find myself in. This has also opened up even more opportunities for me in terms of speaking engagements, referrals to more customers, an increase in my general health and well-being, and more quality relationships with others.

In terms of the coaching relationship, it probably will not work for you if you have deeper underlying issues and need someone to help you with therapy, behavior modification, or addictions. However, if you are looking for more of a support team, advisor, mentor, and equal relationship in pursuit of the goals you have for your life, coaching might work for you. A focus on business coaching is also ideal if you’re looking to improve your business process and flow: a business coach has many specific ideas and resources to help improve and expand your operations.

Some references to coaches:

Rob Seidenspinner, Balance, Fulfillment and Growth
Linkedin profile

Susan Kim, Life Coach and Professional Trainer
SusanKimCoaching.com

Akemi Gaines, Life Purpose, Passion and Entrepreneurship
Yes-to-me.com

Erica Ross-Krieger, The Wellness Coach
EricaRossKrieger.com