Today’s guest post is by Liz Agnew, coaching superstar.

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How to Network Successfully as an Introvert: Four tips to have fun and get results

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by Elizabeth J. Agnew, MS, PE

For us introverts out there, the idea of networking doesn’t exactly get our blood moving. As networking becomes more and more an integral part of my professional growth, I’m finding that (and I never thought I’d say this) I am actually beginning to enjoy it. And that right there is half of the reason why I’m successful with my networking efforts. In this article I’ll share with you 4 tips for networking success – as an introvert!

First, let’s get something cleared up. Being an introvert does NOT mean that you lack social skills. I’ll repeat: being introverted does not mean that you aren’t a ’social’ being. We all are. It simply means that you get your energy from within – when you need to recharge, you find a way to be alone. Being around people tends to use our energy, rather than charge it up. That’s all.

So all you closet introverts can come out now. If you can embrace your introversion, you’ll see that there are true benefits to being one: you tend to have a better relationship with yourself, appear more grounded and aware, and value deeper connections, to name a few. Embracing your introversion means you’ll be able to leverage it in networking situations. The 4 tips below show you how.

1. Think quality, not quantity
Already, your being an introvert is advantageous. Because we tend to prefer fewer, deeper relationships rather than multiple casual acquaintances, we can bring that desire into a networking situation. No one said the key to networking successfully was to get as many business cards as you could in the least amount of time. If you’re having a great conversation with someone, then stay put!

Let your goal be to make one solid connection for the evening that you’ll want to continue into the future. If it’s a multiple-day event, make your goal 3 – 4 solid connections. Now you can relax – let go of the need to compete for contacts and let fate do its work in deciding the few people you’ll get to truly know.

2. Stay curious
Introverts tend to prefer intimate, deep conversation rather than superficial small talk, which is one we reason we are typically allergic to networking. But how to come up with things to talk about that will get you past the small talk smoke screen? This is why I used to get stuck in the “I don’t feel like going” rut. I got out of it by staying curious.

Human beings are naturally curious creatures, and so once you learn to listen to your inner curiosity, it will be your ally in carrying the conversation. The person you’re chatting with has a story, has richness, has a life with details you can’t begin to imagine! Find out about it. Staying connected to your natural curiosity will help you stay drawn to attending and putting effort into the event.

3. Get real
When you’re doing all the curiosity-searching and questioning, make it juicy! Take risks! Dance next to the line – without crossing it. Let this stranger know that you are a real person – sometimes with family tiffs, speeding tickets, and morning breath! It will lighten the mood, foster trust, and be something to help them remember you.

If you’re someone who finds networking boring, this tells me that you need to move WAY closer to this proverbial line I’m talking about. As long as you remain respectful and avoid offending the person, this is what makes it fun. One way to do this is to tell the truth – tell them how you really felt about the presentation, or how business is really going (without being a whino – keep it polite and intellectual). Tell them about your trials and tribulations, or funny mishaps. Keep it short, then ask about them. You break the ice with candor, and invite them to follow suit.

4. Follow up
This is where your efforts can really pay off, or not. The fact that we tend to make fewer, closer connections makes it easier and more comfortable to follow up. Make your follow-up email or card personal to avoid making this process feel too mechanical. If you followed the tips above, you should have an interesting tidbit to cite that will remind you both of your connection.

When you follow up, take initiative in getting to know the person more. I recommend doing this even if you’re not sure you want to – remember, everyone has a story and theirs is richer than you can imagine. If they’re local, meet for lunch or coffee. If they’re too far, send articles or tidbits when they remind you of the person. Simply sending with a note saying “this made me think of you” is enough.

Bonus tip: arrive physically ready. As introverts, this type of engagement tends to use up our energy, so make sure you have a surplus when you arrive! Be well rested, well fed, and well hydrated. And if you notice you’re missing one of those things, excuse yourself for a 5-minute timeout and take care of yourself so that you can focus your energy on your new friends rather than your growling stomach.

Ultimately, networking doesn’t have to feel or be fake. Stay reminded of the original reason people decided to get together: to make connections. Let your goal be to foster true human connection, and do that the best way
you know how.

- Elizabeth J. Agnew, M.S., P.E.

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Liz specializes in leadership development coaching for engineers and other technically minded professionals. Through the coaching process, personal foundation, life vision, relationships, and behavior patterns are explored to leverage strengths and create new effective ways of being as a leader. Coaching happens 1-on-1 usually twice or three times per month.

See packages and rates:
http://www.vgacoaching.com/coaching_packages.htm

Sign up here for a free coaching consultation:
http://www.vgacoaching.com/coaching_try.htm

Madonna, David Bowie, Prince, and most recently Radiohead have all developed the art of giving something away, knowing that they’ll receive something back.

The artists have all either given away or allowed low-cost or free downloads of their music, through a variety of channels like bundling the single into the local newspaper, or offering the entire CD for purchase for a price that you, the customer sets.

In Radiohead’s case, they sold 1.2 million copies within 1 week of releasing their latest, In Rainbows. Without a set price, some thought that they wouldn’t make any money at all, but in fact their average sale was $8USD.

What are some things you can do to give away your product, your expertise, or your consulting advice? Consider that the “freebies” that you send your potential customers acts as a “sampler:” they have an opportunity to get a sense of you and your services, and you reach a wide base. This is why Costco offers tasters at the end of each aisle in the frozen foods section, why Trader Joe’s has a sampler appetizer section, and why Whole Foods allows you to try their produce.

One effective way that this comes into play is promotions like with Netflix, which typically encourages friends and family of existing customers to try their service for free for 30 days. At the end of 30 days, many are “hooked” and continue on with the service. Another example is RingCentral, which we use for our toll-free number and our fax services: they allow new users to try the service out and make sure it suits their needs. If it does, a potential customer turns into a long-term customer. If not, a potential customer just walks away.

If you’re pleased with your services and products and you believe in them, how will you share that with others? You might consider any of the following:

1) Offer pro bono services for a local charity
2) Offer pro bono services to a local event
3) Write a free e-book available for download
4) Create a “resources” section for tips on your own website.
5) Offer high quality links to partners, associates, and other related vendors
6) Write for a blog where you analyze trends in your industry or in your line of work
7) Run a social event that promotes a local cause or candidate: and offer your company or business as the primary sponsor
8) Join a club or group related to your work and serve in an officer or organiational position
9) Set up a roundtable with other professionals, make it invitation-only, and put your heads together to work on each others’ issues
10) Sponsor a day that focuses on your business (e.g. cell phone recycling day, paper shredding day, free eye exam day, etc.)

Think of at least four different ideas that will promote yourself this year, and implement them on a quarterly basis. With evaluation, see which of these tools work well and fine-tune your model so that you are able to share your knowledge, increase your customer base, and receive significant profits.

I’ve always understood that you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate. As women, sometimes we don’t effectively use our natural negotiation tips to create the best possible outcomes for our lives, our work, our relationships and our families. As a result, we still get paid less than men for equal performance, and some of us continue to struggle to advocate for and receive the situations we truly deserve.

Here are my top three tips on negotiation.

1) Negotiation is based on how important something is to two parties: you and the other negotiator.

If you’re in a position to negotiate about a new job, consider the parts of the job that are most important to you. Is it your new responsibilities? the job title? Do you want job security? What about benefits? How about hours or flextime? Do you want extra managerial tasks? Are you looking for salary? is there a commission or bonus?

Consider all the parts that are a must-have for you, as well as the parts of the job you are willing to budge on. Then, come back to your potential employer with a package that outlines what you desire. If you add some items that you’re willing to compromise on, these will be the items you don’t feel so bad about discarding.

From the employer’s perspective, they’ll negotiate based on what they currently need and what you currently offer. If you’re demanding a higher salary and the employer needs someone with your current skill sets, they might not offer you a performance bonus or a regular opportunity for performance reviews. If you’re seeking health insurance as a major factor of you taking the job, they employer might give you better coverage but a lower salary.

All of these different elements require you to understand your own priorities before coming to the negotiation table.

Once you’ve figured out exactly what you need and what will make you comfortable for any situation, you may start thinking about items that are nice but not necessary: use those items when it comes time to discussing a package.

2) Give and take is an essential part of negotiation.

Once you know what you must have and what you’re okay giving away, you may start negotiating from a place of strength: identify, act, and speak with clarity about what you’re willing to give away and what you must demand. This gives the other party subconscious, kinetic and verbal cues about an item.

You will feel comfortable reciprocating with someone across the table because certain things you are fine “throwing in.” Everyone wants to feel like they’re getting a good deal so consider ways to make that deal happen. Be creative, if you need to: there are plenty of things to negotiate in a typical contract like terms, warranties, payment structure, personnel, specific tasks, and deliverables.

3) Negotiation is a process. A contract is the outcome. Keep the situation flowing but put final details into writing.

It’s so important to put details into writing, either at the actual table or shortly after a negotiation session. Write it down! Did you extend a certain timeframe or change the order of a procedure? Write it down! Did you give agree upon a specific payment plan? Write it down!

Incorporate all the disparate elements of your verbal negotiation into a written document and make sure you go over the items with the other party. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to get lost in details or to gloss over something that might be important at a later date…. write everything down so all parties have access to notes that were discussed.

I encourage you to share with me your own tips on negotiation. I think the lack of training on this issue is a major stumbling block, especially for any woman who is navigating a situation where they would rather back away, keep quiet, or not provide important input that affects her.

Negotiation is merely what we do with children (”May I have a cookie?” -”Not yet, dear, but we’ll go together to the store this afternoon to find you a healthy snack”). Let’s extend our natural negotiation and communication skills out to the larger world.

Put in some comments about how you’ve negotiated something for yourself, your relationship, or your work.