Sharyn Abbott over at a new Facebook group called “Challenge to Succeed” asks the question:

If you could ask for one thing to feel like your life is more successful, whether it is your personal relationships, your job, your health or anything else, what would it be?

I’ve been thinking about this question for a while and reviewing it against the current status of my life… my answer’s below. What do you think? If you could ask for just one thing to feel like your life is more successful, what would it be?

I’m curious what you think, or what your answer would be.

Here’s what I posted:

Sharyn, this is such an interesting question. I keep coming back to it and thinking about what that one item or thing would be. I honestly don’t have an answer, as I feel like every day is yet another opportunity to be grateful and also to work on what my vision of a “successful life” looks like.

So health, family, relationships, money, my business…. all of these can always be improved.. and they are already continually being improved/renewed.

I recently took out my “big goals” list that I set almost 7 years ago and it’s totally true (amazingly so) that most of the important things on that list have become a reality for me and my partner in the last few years.

I now use www.futureme.org to e-mail myself periodic updates on my current big goals list. I’d also be interested in what other people think they need to be more successful.

I think in the long run it boils down to our own motivation, what we think success looks like, our path towards that and the relationships we make along the way.

Today in Delightful Wonderful Things, we have a very special guest interview with Paula Otero at www.mujerescaminoalexito.com, a website and blogazine that’s the “crossroad for ideas, inspiration and peer learning on our road to success.”

I met Paula through a mutual friend from college, and I love how her website and podcast series specifically targets Latinas in business. We all have ways to support each other’s work, and I’m looking forward to finding ways to support Paula’s work in building up a list of stories to inspire, educate, and empower me and other entrepreneurs.

Tell us a little bit about Mujeres camino al éxito. What sets you apart or makes the website unique?
Mujeres is that place where you go to feel inspired by someone’s story. Women are amazing in that we overcome challenges, play multiple roles in our lives and make amazing things happen but we don’t really talk about it. When we share our experiences we become a mentor to someone and that is an area lacking among Latinas. We have some great media outlets like Latina Magazine and Latina Style but what is missing is a forum where women who are on their journey to success can be showcased and share their experiences from the point of view of someone who is learning, growing or reinventing herself.

Mujeres is all about that journey, the journey to success and every woman defines her own success, whether it is to start your own business, find a life partner, get promoted, attend college or even have a baby.

What motivates you in your work?
Knowing that what I do can make a difference in someone’s life and also in my life because I am as inspired by my guests as hopefully my readers are.

A Successful Woman is devoted to women’s success, especially in the face of obstacles. Tell our readers about one of your biggest challenges, and how you overcame it.

There are many ways to feel successful, every small step, every accomplishment gives you joy and confidence and you build your character from there.

I’ve faced many challenges, the biggest was when I arrived to this country in 1985 from Mexico. The transition was painful for many reasons: you miss your country, you don’t feel like you belong here. The toughest part was finding my new identity. Who was I if I was not Paula Otero the teenager in Acapulco who loved school, the beach and her friends, whose identity was cemented in being from a family everyone knew? Here I was nobody, knew nobody. I knew I wanted more from this new life, I saw the many opportunities available to me in the US. Today, I’m grateful for having gone through that because it gives me a very unique perspective on life. I don’t measure success with money or credentials– I measure it with the life experiences we’ve had. Those are what make us truly rich.

Share with us a story of your personal or professional success:
There’s many personal goals I’ve met in my life but I can honestly tell you that launching Mujeres is my greatest accomplishment. I broke out of my comfort zone to do this, I followed my heart and tapped into the love I’ve always had for writing, for doing community work and for just getting out there and doing something that mattered without having to get approval from five layers of management or having office politics take a bite out of a spirited idea. There is such freedom in doing this but also a great sense of responsibility. I am accountable to my readers and to the people that collaborate with my site. There is a trust factor there.

What’s your advice for women in business?
Surround yourself with people you trust and trust your gut instinct.

Learn more about Mujeres camino al éxito:
Mujeres camino al éxito
www.mujerescaminoalexito.com
E-mail: mujerescaminoalexito (at) g m a i l (dot) c o m

Thanks to Paula for sharing the story behind the scenes of Mujeres. The site has a great assortment of audio from real women in business, as well as articles on work, living, money and finances, health, arts and culture, and book reviews and other “cosas.”

Paula also shared a little more about how she’s making her own success as she moves forward: read on for a story of how she started her podcast series, even in the face of technical challenges!

Getting to the “showing up” part

- by Paula Otero

In January of this year I launched the Mujeres camino al éxito website www.mujerescaminoalexito.com in its new format (blogazine) which allows me to make updates without relying on my web developer. By March I decided to conduct my first interview using the pod cast technology a fellow blogger turned me on to.

I decided my scheduled interview with talk show host Malin Falu, from HITN-TV would be the perfect to package in this new medium. Malin has a wonderful on-air personality; I’d been a guest on her show Dialogo de a Costa twice already and knew a live format would best capture her thoughtfulness and intelligence.  I outlined the questions I’d be asking and sent them a day before the interview along with the details to call into the pod cast. All was going as planed: I had a fantastic guest lined up, perfect vehicle, a great topic to discuss. Oh, but it all fell apart very, very quickly on the day and time of the interview.

The thing is, I was not yet well versed on the how-to’s and overlooked one minor detail. We both had to dial in at exactly the same time. Instead, I treated this like a normal conference call where the host dials in minutes or seconds before the call. When Malin dialed in she was blocked from entering my “session”. We tried it over and over again using cell phones to cue each other but I always called in at least 15 seconds before her. After 30 minutes of this I was embarrassed but grateful that she never lost her cool or her willingness to work with me on this one.

As a last resort I asked Malin if she’d record the episode on her own and just answer the questions I’d sent her with a conversational tone, as if I’d just asked the question. I figured my audio guy, Don, could piece the segment together later. A true professional, Malin agreed! I later recorded the intro and closing.

I learned that day what many entrepreneurs already know, when running your own show and things don’t go as planned, you’re on your own. It is here that being resourceful; winging it, tap dancing or whatever you want to call is a must in order to land on your feet. The famous Woody Allen quote “Eighty percent of success is just showing up” tells me the other 20 is all about jumping those hurdles that make it possible to “show up” even if you lose a shoe and scrape your knee in the last lap.

I’ve now mastered pod casting and have interviewed five more women without a glitch. So, perhaps I am now ready to upload video to Youtube and set up my profile on Linkedin. I hope these first experiences will have a better outcome, but just in case, I’ll plan test-run time into the schedule.

For those of you who are mothers or who are planning to be mothers, I wanted to take some time to go over what success means for you, your family, and your relationship with your children, partners or significant others, and your part within your wider social world.

What does success mean to you? One way to assess this question is to think about the timeframe a hundred years from now, when your grandchildren or great-grandchildren do a genealogy project and review your life. When you have some ‘family-wide goals’ and you develop ways to access, track, and celebrate those milestones, you might see patterns and trends in your family name and your children’s children’s actions. One hundred years from now, your descendants will review your life history, see their heritage through you, and hopefully take your best parts forward into their own future (just as you may do so with your own ancestors).

There are three points that help me on my journey towards raising a family: first of all, any kind of judgement, blame, shame, or guilt around parenting issues is not in your best interest, so my best advice is to leave criticism behind. Second, follow your instinct. You know your child/ren best, and you do a great service to your children by honing your maternal instincts and changing situations in your life to better fit your family. Finally, take time to honor, celebrate, and rejoice with your family: children come to you to be a part of your life — appreciate them.

Leave Criticism Behind.
Who wants to feel attacked? You only want to feel attacked if some part of you needs that kind of stimulus, in which case I highly recommend working through your issues to understand your own nature. No child deserves humiliation, disrespect, or flogging: and you yourself do not deserve this behavior either. For me, I flee negative behavior: there are many places where you might feel unsupported for your choices, and if that’s the case, I recommend you *move your position* to a place where you feel supported, positive, healthy, and whole. There are plenty of other mothers who would love the chance to bond with you, share their experiences with you, and be part of your community: it’s up to you to find them. (I find Google to be a great resource for this).

Walk away from any kind of negative commentary on things that are really important to you. Always be open to new information and education — be aware if you have “blinders” on and someone out there actually does have a better solution to your issue — but do also understand when your intuitive choices as a parent are being trampled… if you’re feeling disrespected you can always move to the other side of the room! Treat yourself like you would treat any small, helpless child: you would never berate, shame or heap abuse on a small child: treat yourself with respect and you will automatically treat others with respect, too.

Follow Your Instinct
You know, at some level, what you need to provide for your family and your offspring. I highly encourage you to develop your instinct, your intuition, or your “gut feeling” about a situation, and act on it with as much of your maternal instinct as possible.

For example, for our family, when our son was born, we wanted to provide a caring, supportive, and communicative environment for him. We chose things like Bradley training, natural childbirth, breastfeeding (I breastfed for three years), and cloth diapers. We used a sling, and we paid close attention to what our son ate: we chose organic foods and less-processed options as much as possible. We co-slept, and we started “elimination communication” at six months (so we were able to get him out of diapers by his first birthday). We paid attention to our son’s crying. We paid attention to our son, period.

What is your instinct about what your children need? If you feel like your instinct is somewhat faint or you’re not sure what’s important, it may be time to focus on your own needs so that you may parent from a place of strength, wisdom, maturity, and love. What do you feel you need in your life so that you have the ability to create a better life for your child? Seek these answers and they will arise into your consciousness, giving you more options and more ways to deal with the current.

We made every effort to be aware and appreciative of our son’s needs and we’ve continued our education about developmental needs, especially about how boys develop. We’ve referenced books by Ina May Gaskin, Kathleen Huggins, Peggy O’Mara, Michael Gurian, and others. I subscribed to Mothering Magazine for a few years because I felt that their articles and resources were more in keeping with my ideas than some of the more slick magazines.

We acted on a strong intuition to move to a different location that was more family-friendly and we have been rewarded by that decision by having a much better, safer, and saner quality of life. Now that our son is in school, I feel very successful in our efforts to provide a secure “home base” for him. As parents, both of us are very happy to see our son’s development into an overall happy, active, and compassionate little boy.

Honor and Rejoice in your Family
Your responsibility as a parent is such a great one that comes with so many rewards: I definitely feel like I have a more full, more active, and more deep sense of life because of the challenges and successes parenting has offered me. Your children are with you for what seems like such a short time… make the most of that time! Create opportunities to celebrate their birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions.

Any time is a good time for cake and punch, for a small memento for a job well done, or most importantly, for a hug and kiss and words of encouragement for your little one! What does your child enjoy and appreciate? Give him or her plenty of opportunities to celebrate that innate talent or skill: and do the same with your own heartfelt wishes. We all deserve love, and when we love ourselves, honor ourselves, and rejoice in ourselves, we are better able to love, honor, and rejoice in others.

For me, my success has developed over time because I’ve kept true to what my partner and I originally hoped to accomplish as spouses, lovers, and parents: we’re building a family and passing along to the next generation our values, our behaviors, and our actions that we believe are important.

I am happy and proud about this, and I support you, too, in finding the right path for you and your family to walk along.