Successful woman always know to set high goals, to celebrate all their achievements, and to stretch towards those goals every day.

When I say stretch every day, I mean literally and physically stretch yourself, and also emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually stretch yourself.

When you start the day off by stretching out, your muscles get warmed up and you remain flexible and limber. Your body gets stronger and more vibrant as you stretch and shake off sleep. Stretch out in bed, and then move to the floor or to a mat or cloth you’ve set out. Incorporate 15 minutes of stretching into your day and you’ll immediately feel better (and your posture will improve).

By emotionally stretching yourself, I encourage you to use the Buddhist exercise of wishing well upon a friend or loved one, then wishing well upon someone you may not be too happy with, then wishing well upon an adversary or someone about whom you have very strong feelings. Stretch out your feeling towards this person and release yourself from limited thinking. As you do so, you’ll gain a wider perspective on the world.

Stretch yourself intellectually by reading, listening, and learning from other teachers. Assemble a toolkit of links or resources that you use to stretch your mind and to increase your brain power. Do a crossword puzzle or a memory game to keep yourself sharp, and keep on learning about different subjects which interest you. Stretch your limitations of your knowledge.

Spiritually, when I say stretch, I mean stretch out your understanding of your purpose in the world and how you are manifesting what you were born to do. Stretch out your soul and strive to touch more people with your passion, to help more people with your products, and to assist more of your community through your work.

Reach out and stretch your “soul muscles” so you have greater understanding and appreciation of our human nature and the beauty with which each of us lives our life. I’ve incorporated an hour of power into my day: with 20 minutes of reading, 20 minutes of meditation, and 20 minutes of prayer.

Keep stretching yourself every day and you’ll find that your entire outlook expands. You’ll appreciate this enhanced perspective.

Where will you stretch yourself in the next few days?

There are so many of us who are parents or who want to become parents. My husband and I work together and we have a young son who currently is in elementary school.

If you are trying to conceive, if you are currently pregnant, or if you have recently given birth, congratulations! Your most important work is contributing to the next generation, and you are blessed with the opportunity to care for a new life. Your nutrition, your health, your overall wellness, and your work plan are all important factors at this time.

If you are trying to conceive (TTC), good luck and keep it up!
Charting, keeping track of ovulation, and being on top of your most fertile moments may be stressful. I encourage you to keep a healthy schedule and maintain a consistent amount of sleep. Also make sure to make time for leisure: this reduces stress and gives you something to look forward to.

Your health and happiness are so important (and a great by-product will be when you conceive). Remember to take your folic acid, continue to have a healthy diet, reduce or quit smoking, monitor your alcohol intake, and create more healthful and happier moments in your life. This may mean letting go of stressful situations like clutter, a bad roommate situation, or anything that makes you unhappy. You may also consider changing your job if it is not conducive to you getting pregnant.

If you are currently expecting, congratulations!
Now is a great time for you and your employer to come up with a plan for your workplace and how you will integrate your upcoming birth with your existing work. With an empathetic boss, you’ll be able to telecommute, share hours, and possibly work from home in order to maintain your job and be a contributing member of your team.

If you are able, find an ergonomic chair, keyboard, or work station, If you are standing for long periods of time, ask if you may be seated, or find a footrest or stool so you may put up one leg at a time.

If you work with toxic chemicals, consider getting a transfer or reducing your exposure as much as possible.

It will be best for you to be completely aware of anything potentially harmful to you that comes in through your air, your food, or especially your water. Read the labels on packaged food, this has always helped me (I avoid anything with high fructose corn syrup or partially hydrogenated oils). I recommend choosing organic produce when you are able to. Choose healthy options whenever possible: your body and your baby will thank you!

If you have miscarried, I am so sorry.
I have had a miscarriage, too, and it is such a devastating feeling. Take care of yourself and let your body, mind, and spirit return to a state of happiness and health. Conception happens again! Take your time and take care of yourself by grieving, creating a memory book or journal, and saving some special remembrances of your pregnancy. I kept the pregnancy test in a little drawer with the date. It’s a special bond you have with your child, even if they were not able to be born into the world.

If you have just given birth, congratulations!
The first few weeks after the birth, most women need to spend as much time with their baby as possible. New mothers also need rest, and a great rule is to “sleep when the baby sleeps.”

Keep a full jug of water by the bed at all times, and remember to eat healthy foods like fruit, oatmeal, rice, apples, and other bland foods. Follow your body’s natural instinct and make sure to focus on your own health and recovery: everyone else’s health depends on yours, so take care of yourself. Other folks may do the laundry, wash the dishes, and keep the house in order. Your main focus is to heal and to be with your baby.

Take care of yourself and demand care from others. If you’re out and about, park close to your destination and bring a sling or a stroller. If you’re on public transportation, ask for the handicapped or special needs area. If you’re breastfeeding, ask for privacy and a lactation room. If you need to sleep, build in frequent naps into your day: your sanity depends on it. Because those post-baby weeks have so many new activities going on, remember to take time for yourself and to center yourself by meditating, praying, or even taking time out to breathe deeply.

If you have decided on a back-to-work plan, find ways to make the transition easier on yourself and your new family member: this might mean looking at creative options to make sure the work gets done and to also take care of your new responsibilities. You may find yourself doing independent contracting, doing freelance work, or even striking out on your own as a work-at-home mom. With so many options available, I know you will find ways to make your work fit into your life.

Because the childbearing years are so special and because so many women in this age group are in the workforce, let’s all work together to make sure that our workplace offers supportive policies.

Ten Tips:

1) Take time to assess your situation: Introspection is good. Take a look at your current status and see if there are ways to make more proactive, positive changes to help you and your family. If you find that a relationship, job, or location needs changing, give yourself a timeline and start working on that change or move.
2) Share: Join a support group like a mother’s group or parent’s group. You’ll find others who share your interests and activities and you’ll make new friends.
3) Sleep: Your resting periods become even more important as demands on you rise. Go for 8 hours of sleep a night and if you don’t get it, build in catnaps during the day to recharge.
4) Breathe deeply: For five minutes of every hour, spend some time breathing in and out, centering yourself, and feeling your body.
5) Exercise: If it’s as simple as going for a brief walk after dinner, or adding some walk time to your commute, exercising helps with mood swings, circulation, and overall health. While you’re at it, do some stretching to keep your circulation moving and your muscles limber, too!
6) Healthy Food: Yummy food is something to look forward to. Check labels and choose healthier options like whole grains, dark green vegetables, and fruits.
7) Water, water, water: Keep hydrated and drink water every day. Choose water over sugary sodas or caffeine-heavy options.
8) Eat breakfast: A good morning ritual helps center your day and a nice breakfast starts you off with energy. Choose easy options and get up ten minutes earlier so you may savor a hearty first meal of the day.
9) Communicate: Ask for help from partners, parents, in-laws, relatives, friends, and work associates. All of us working together get to bond with the babies and young children in our lives: reach out and ask people to help you, they will appreciate being a valued part of your children’s early years.
10) Take care of yourself: The most important thing you will do for your family is participating fully by being well-rested, well-nourished, and well in spirit. Do this by honestly assessing where you stand and taking steps to honor your body, tend the garden that is your soul, and do the things you feel called to do.

Friends,

I want to take some time to share with you how I’ve dealt with difficult times.

Perhaps you’ve had a loss in your life: like the loss of a relationship, or a divorce, a death, or an absence that hurts your heart. Perhaps you are struggling with difficulties in your finances or with a work situation that seems out of your control. Perhaps there has been a medical emergency or a scare or a wake-up call that has called attention to your body’s needs. Perhaps your spirit has been challenged and you are questioning your faith, your life’s meaning, and your purpose. Perhaps there is a dark part of your journey that you are struggling to get through.

Whatever the situation, I encourage you to take a good, hard look at what your current situation is, and feel everything there is to feel within that situation.

Feel the pain, feel the sorrow, the rage, or the frustration. Take it out by screaming or by squeezing your pillow or by going for a long run. Feel the hurt and let yourself fully experience this “soul cage.” Feel sorry for yourself, and stay in bed with a big box of tissues. Unplug the computer, turn off the phone, and take a day or more to be upset, unhappy, or bereaved. You are only human: take the time to lick your wounds.

If it gets too upsetting or if you find yourself severely depressed, unable to function, and/or have thoughts of suicide/putting a final end to it, please find help. Call 1-800-784-2433 if you cannot think of someone to call.

From “When You Feel You Can’t Go On”:

I hope there will be something I can say to you now…
Find something or someone to live for, for a little while
Let someone help you through and beyond this horrible, but temporary time in your life.

If you are still functioning but still sad, I find that dealing with the pain in the moment assists my soul in fully experiencing that moment. When I deal with it in dribs and drabs, or build little walls around my heart, then the pain continues to come back, in stabs, for much longer than if I had felt it immediately. Cry it out. If you don’t know how to cry, do lots of exercise. Keep care of your body, though, and be very gentle with your physical self. Sometimes when we feel pain but don’t really know how to feel pain, but it still hurts, we need some sort of release. Go for a long, long hike or challenge yourself to bicycle 35/50/100 miles or run 5/10/20 miles. Find a way to take care of your pain that still involves taking care of your body.

After that initial wave of shock and sadness, I find that I am tired out, like an empty husk. That feeling of emptiness is a good time for making yourself whole again by taking care of yourself.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.” - Kahlil Gibran

To take care of myself, I make big hot steaming mugs of Earl Grey tea, and I take long hot baths. I light candles. I read lots of books and back issues of magazines. I cry when I feel the need. I go for a walk in nature. I stretch. I call a friend. I write in my journal. I meditate. I pray.

Right now would be a good time to make a list of five favorite things that you do to take care of yourself and keep that prominently posted: then you have this handy and may implement it into your routine and refer to the list when necessary.

Every situation that is difficult is an opportunity for you to grow. One thought that helps me is to think of myself in my physical being, living my life, being surrounded by my day-to-day, but in the large picture, merely passing through just one moment, or a series of moments. My spiritual part, the eternal, soul part, is merely experiencing something that is helping it learn. I promise you that whatever your situation, it will pass (it will, I promise!) and you will experience renewed vigor, renewed faith in yourself and other people, and a renewed sense of self. Happy Days are coming. Believe that.

If you have a heavy burden to bear, consider sharing it with a friend or loved one. Your family, roommates, boyfriend or girlfriend, classmates, workmates, hobby club, or team-mates…. there are many people who truly care about you. Reach out to them, they want to hear and they want to be there for you.

Find a way to take care of yourself.

Next, you may take a pause to take stock of your situation. Think about your life to date and how you have found yourself in this current situation. There were a series of choices you made, the end result of which brought you to this point. Or, something just happened, and you happened to be there at that time. Or, someone else’s issues and dramas are now severely impacting your own life. Whatever the situation, what has happened, has happened. There is no shame, no blame, and no should, could, or would. There merely is.

When it’s time to rectify the situation, or at least move out of it, any or all of this combination of actions have been helpful to me.

1) Write it down on a piece of paper. Burn the paper. The flame purifies. Blow the ashes away. Start over.

2) Out of sight, out of mind. Are there pictures or other mementoes that are too painful for you to bear? Destroy them, and delight in the idea that when there is a vacuum, other wonderful things will come in (this will depend on you changing your behavior to stop attracting negatives and instead welcome positives). Think of Kali, the destroyer

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell

3) Go on a trip, retreat, visionquest, or just take a break for the weekend. Get out of your routine. Go somewhere different. The different environment will awaken you and give you a bigger perspective.

4) Rearrange your furniture. Get rid of anything you dislike or that saps your energy. Your surroundings nurture and heal you: if there’s something offensive or annoying or that you just don’t like, give it away or trash it.

5) Start taking care of a plant. Some easy indoor plants include: pothos, spider plant, jade plant, African violet, or a small batch of herbs, sunflowers, or a cutting of rosemary. A plant brings beauty, life, and oxygen into your surroundings. It is a friend to you and it raises your spirits.

6) Find a piece of art, a mandala, or an object with meaning to you, and think on it.
I like the artwork of Alex Grey:
http://www.sacredmirrors.org/mirrors_view2.html

The Mandala Project:
http://www.mandalaproject.org/Mandalas/index_new.html

Images of our planet:
http://www.terragalleria.com/

Or, light a candle.

7) Promise not to talk to the offending person again. If necessary, delete their phone number from your cell phone and delete their e-mail or any printed notes or letters. Find other people whose company you enjoy and share some special time with them.

8) Take up a volunteer position. Being in a position where you have to take care of something else frees you from the clutches of despair. You always have something to give: consider volunteering at your local humane society, participating in a park or beach clean-up, giving some time to the library, or planting trees. If it’s helpful, choose something that doesn’t require a lot of person-to-person contact, at least until you’re ready.

9) Go through your clothes. Go through your wardrobe and take out ten items that you no longer love or that don’t fit you. Bring them to your Goodwill or Salvation Army and exchange them for one new piece that you really like and that makes you feel great. That’s the piece (preferably in orange or red or something warm-colored) that you’ll wear with joy.

10) Research a new project. Now might be a good time to get into a new subject or to research something that’s important to you. Perhaps it’s a period of history, a person’s bigogaphy, a type of cooking, a region that you’re interested in, architecture, art, sculpture, languages, music, playing an interest, or something else that inspires you. The act of delving into something interesting serves to take your mind off your current issues, gives you something new to consider, and offers a wider perspective from which to evaluate your current situation.

“Work is the substitute for hope and the antedyne for pain” -as quoted by Jane Marie Law

11) Get enough rest. I find that I need lots of sleep if I am repairing my soul. This takes a lot of dreamtime during naps and at night: keep a journal of your dreams during this special time.

12) Finally, take a week and eat healthy foods and drink healthy drinks. Try doing a vegetarian diet, drinking herbal teas and lots of water, and focusing on fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, roots like sweet potato and yam, whole grains, legumes, and more whole, natural foods. An emphasis on foods in their natural state (rather than processed) will give your body great nutrients with which to rebuild. Plus, your energy and your mood will improve.

As you continue to take care of yourself, heal, rebuild, and increase your energy, you’ll find new ways to change or modify your situation. Perhaps there is a new job on the horizon, a better relationship, a new place to move into, or an increase in your body’s health and wellbeing. Perhaps there will be new activities or interests that move you forward and give you a whole new outlook on the opportunities of your life. Perhaps there is a new friend that is hoping to spend more time with you. Once you move past sad feelings, you realize that you are a whole person, that your life is a true gift, that you have much to be grateful for, and that you have so much to offer and to share.

I wish you happiness, health, prosperity, and the fulfillment of your heart’s true desire.